Yep Yep its nasty out, but surprisingly I'm in a pretty good mood. I think a lot has to do with these new supplements I'm taking. A while ago, I heard an ad on the radio for Vitamin B-12 and Folic acid supplements to increase energy, mood, and clarity of thoughts. They ad said that most supplements are in pill form, and that no matter how much you take of it in a pill form you won't feels results because it needs to get directly into the bloodstream to have an effect. SO, the ad was for "submucosal" tablets, meaning that you place the tab under your tongue and it dissolves (there's a huge vein/artery whichever under your tongue and things get really quickly absorbed into your system this way, I know this because I take a prescription called "Suboxone" that helps me stay off heroin and I have to place it under my tongue)
So yeah, I was X-mas shopping and stopped in GNC for the boyfriend (he's really into working out lately, he's such a hunk!) and I found them...they were 19.00 though but yeah, I'm sooo glad I got them. I don't know if its the placebro affect, meaning i feel different b/c I want to feel diff, not because they work, but I really think that they do. I've also been taking this effervessent (like alkazelter) that has B-12 and Folic acid in it, claiming to give me energy. I'm loving the stuff, I feel like I can work out longer, eat less, be happier, get more done in general. Plus i have finals this week so this discovery couldn't have come at a better time.
Ok so yea, my new diet starting tomorrow:
I'm goin to start cycling between what I tend to normally eat (1200!! soo high I know) with something much lower, but high enough so that I can have enough energy to work out, thinking somthing like 800, maybe throw a 900 day in there as well. Today I'm eating a lil over 900 (I'm on campus, and I pack all the food I'm going to eat until I go home at 11:00 and have my 25 cal cocoa and go to bed, so I know my daily intake already b/c its sitting right next to me. I also don't bring any cash so that I don't become victim of the vending machines.)
Sooo here we go for the next 4 days:
Monday: 800
Tuesday: 1200
Wednesday: 900
Thursday: 1000
I don't know how its going to be when I get home for LOVELY WINTER BREAK on Thursday night, so right here right now I'm making a promise to myself:
"You have been doing so great these last 2 weeks! You went from 124 to 118, Good for you! But thats not good enought, and thats not gonna cut it if you want to totally wow Matt and everyone you know. You gotta stick with this, and I know you want to, so just do it! Think of how easy it is to say no to food, think of how GREAT that word sounds because of how AMAZING you'll feel knowing you stayed strong. The words "binge" or "purge" are never ever to be a part of your inner vocabulary ever again, neither is ever an option and you know that. Perfect people have perfect control, and someday soon thats what you'll be...BUT ONLY IF you continue to do well. Just think about how amazing you feel every morning when you wake up knowing you did awsome the day before, and just remember how terrible it feels to wake up knowing that your dispicable actions caused you to feel like that FAT, LAZY, GROSS, WORTHLESS, SLOB you are for eating too much the day before. IF YOU STAY ON TRACK TO THIN YOU WILL LOOK AND FEEL WONDERFUL, if you don't you will suffer in your personally created hell.
So, yeah, thats whats going on. I need to get off here and start my paper. It's due tomorrow morning and I've yet to even look at the assignment.
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I know I'm a total stranger to you (heh, just found your blog through a mutual follower and added my own name to that list of yours) but I wanted to say thank you for this post. I've been having a difficult time with my motivation as of late, and though I'm struggling and working to find a way through this rut, reading this was incredibly helpful. That inner monologue, self-talk...it's positively crucial to success in this, and reading yours was so refreshing, as compared to my own. I tend to be so hard on myself, and while that's what comes naturally, I know that the cycle of negative talk and self-deprecation is the absolute worst thing to get caught up in.
ReplyDeleteSo, I guess what I'm saying is, essentially... Thanks. ;)
Feel free to check out my blog as well, if you're interested in reading some of the often nonsensical (but occasionally interesting :P) ramblings of another like-minded soul caught in this whirlwind of a quest for perfection. <3
Kara